Reverse Christmas
Oh, Covetous Me!
A Solitary Joy with Little Fanfare
About Reverse Christmas
It’s just you today. No tree, no stockings, no familial orchestration of collective joy. The entire architecture of Christmas has been collapsed into a private, one-way transaction: from you, to you. There are no group texts, no wish lists, and almost certainly no adorable surprises (unless you forget what you got yourself). Just the object you’ve been thinking about for a while, acquired with quiet satisfaction and maybe wrapped if you have the time. Don’t think of it as indulgent. It’s procedural. This very book told you to get yourself something today, and so you did. Nothing can be done about it now. You’re under the jurisdiction of an almanac whose authority on these matters is absolute. 273