Roman Christmas
Caristia • Cara Cognatio
Like Christmas but with Togas
About Roman Christmas
The end is near. The 120 days are almost up, and there’s no better way to mark the countdown than with a final mashup: Roman Christmas. It’s toga meets mistletoe, Saturnalia meets Secret Santa. Think of it as Christmas through the eyes of ancient Romans, or a rowdy toga party written by Charles Dickens and choreographed by the cast of A Charlie Brown Christmas. Roman Christmas draws inspiration from Caristia (also called Cara Cognatio, or “Dear Kinship Day”), an ancient Roman holiday held in late February to celebrate family unity and reconcile feuds. Romans would gather with relatives, exchange modest gifts, and forgive each other’s worst behavior. We adopt that spirit, drape it in tinsel, and swap the pine tree for a Christmas Fern, the humble evergreen cousin of the tree we’ve already mourned and dismantled. Dress in your finest toga or velvet bathrobe (still fresh from yesterday). Wrap small gifts. Toast to your ancestors. And above all, don’t forget to say Carissimi estis [You are dearly loved]!
Ways to observe
(A) Low effort
Put on a toga (or bedsheet). Light a candle. Write one kind note to a friend or family member and leave it in the “Fern of Gratitude.”
(B) Recommended
Host a Roman Christmas Party. Toga dress code. Serve warm food, seasonal drinks, and exchange silly but heartfelt gifts. Display a Christmas Fern and encourage guests to place messages, ribbons, or tiny offerings in its branches.
(C) High effort
Stage a full Cara Cognatio Revival: hold a reconciliation ritual (or light-hearted roast), toast to your ancestors, assign Latin nicknames to everyone, and end the night with dancing to a playlist that somehow includes both pan flutes and ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You.’
Inspiration
Caristia (or Cara Cognatio) was celebrated in ancient Rome on February 22 as a rare pause for tenderness. After the public and often raucous festivals of Parentalia and Feralia, both honoring the dead, Caristia turned attention back to the living. Families gathered for private feasts, exchanged gifts, and forgave old grievances, if only for the day. If you squint, that sounds a little like Christmas. Roman Christmas emerged after my original idea was rejected: a day devoted to re-enacting the dance scenes from A Charlie Brown Christmas. I thought it would be fun if everyone drew lots to see which routine they’d perform. My advisors soundly rejected this. Instead, we took the warm, forgiving heart of Caristia and draped it in tinsel, swapping the pine tree for a Christmas Fern. Depending on your holiday habits, this might bring your annual tree count to four, a number that’s both excessive and entirely appropriate.
Adornments
Watch
Roman Holiday (1953)
This classic romance follows a sheltered princess (Audrey Hepburn) who escapes her royal duties for a night of carefree adventure in Rome. Its scenes of wintry streets, Vespa joyrides, and a secret tryst under Christmas lights capture both the wonder of holiday spontaneity and the beauty of Rome.
National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)
This raucous college comedy centers on the misfit Delta Tau Chi fraternity, whose toga party has become synonymous with uninhibited revelry. A perfect fit for Roman Christmas.
Listen
Christians and Pagans by Dar Williams
This folk-pop ballad captures the gentle tension and ultimate harmony of a blended holiday gathering, where a pagan niece joins her Christian relatives for Christmas dinner.
Read
Fasti (Times and Their Reasons) by Ovid
This elegiac poem, written in Latin by the Roman poet Ovid, serves as a poetic calendar of Roman festivals and customs. Book II covers February and includes a vivid description of Caristia, the feast of family reconciliation.
Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
A delightfully absurd modern fantasy about the Apocalypse (complete with a misplaced Antichrist) and the unlikely friendship of an angel and a demon determined to prevent Armageddon.