Peaceable Kingdom
Weird Uncle Friday
Reach a Pre-Thanksgiving Truce with Your Delusional Relatives
About Peaceable Kingdom
Peaceable Kingdom invites us to prepare our hearts and minds for the chaos of Thanksgiving by proactively extending grace and understanding to our most, shall we say, colorful relatives. Instead of quietly tolerating conspiracy theories or wild claims about UFOs over cranberry sauce, this day encourages us to call or visit those family members in advance, seeking out common ground and rediscovering what makes them lovable. By forging a connection now—before the stress of the big day—you’ll bring a little more harmony to your holiday table. And hey, if you can survive a discussion about chemtrails with Uncle Gary, the turkey and pie will taste all the sweeter.
Ways to observe
(A) Low effort
Send a thoughtful text or email to a relative you’re dreading seeing at Thanksgiving. Ask about a topic they’re passionate about. Brace yourself.
(B) Recommended
Call or visit a family member whose quirks make you nervous about Thanksgiving. Aim to learn something new about them or hear a story you’ve never heard before. Bring cookies as a distraction and focus on neutral topics.
(C) High effort
Host a pre-Thanksgiving coffee or meal with your difficult relative. Take the time to truly listen to them, steering the conversation toward shared interests. As an olive branch, bring a small gift related to something they enjoy, perhaps a book. Pro tip: a common enemy bridges all differences.
Inspiration
What could be more festive than a little family resentment? Family means relationships we didn’t choose, assigned by blood and geography. Their closeness can feel suffocating, their similarities unnerving, their differences small yet somehow infuriating. They’re familiar enough to trigger obligation, but strange enough to feel foreign. This uneasy combination—of forced intimacy and emotional distance—has fueled generations of literature and film, especially holiday fare, which delights in holding a mirror to our discomfort and framing it in garland. Let us reflect upon that high-art masterpiece, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (see Day 12, Fortnight Lights). Cousin Eddie is the walking embodiment of everything the Griswolds want to repress. He’s unfiltered, oblivious, and indispensable. In Home for the Holidays, the chaos is more tightly wound. Siblings clash and every conversation carries a subtle dare to bolt for the door. Yet in both films, the dysfunction gives way to something warmer and more real. These stories remind us that family doesn’t have to be tidy or functional to be meaningful. It may be a circular argument, but enduring each other over the holidays creates a surplus of joy (every little bit counts), which, in turn, gives us the grace to endure each other at all.
Adornments
Watch
Krisha (2015)
A tense indie drama where an estranged aunt returns to her family’s Thanksgiving after years away. It’s an unexpected gem that lays bare the turbulence and love in family gatherings, reminding us why empathy and patience matter.
Toni Erdmann (2016)
A bizarre German comedy-drama about a practical-joking father’s attempt to mend his relationship with his career-focused daughter. The story follows a dad who invents an alter ego to get his emotionally distant daughter to loosen up.
Listen
Hello in There by John Prine
A gentle, poignant folk ballad that urges compassion for lonely elders. Prine’s lyrics speak to the isolation of growing old, encouraging listeners to reach out and say hello to those who just want to be remembered.
Merry Christmas from the Family by Robert Earl Keen
A laugh-out-loud alternative country song that chronicles a holiday gathering with a wild cast of relatives. Between the booze runs, mismatched in-laws, and blown fuses, the family still manages a moment of unity (they even welcome an unexpected guest after a spirited “Feliz Navidad” singalong).
Read
The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by J. Haidt
A social psychology book that sheds light on why relatives might espouse wildly different views, and how to better understand them. Haidt explores the moral values and intuitions that drive people, ultimately suggesting we see ideological differences as complementary.
Educated by Tara Westover
A memoir about a young woman who grows up in a strict survivalist family and later pursues formal education. Westover’s journey, from rural Idaho isolation to earning a Cambridge PhD, is a moving tale of family loyalty and the grief that loyalty can sometimes cause.
Eat
Braided Olive-Branch Bread
Bake a simple braided loaf (or challah) studded with rosemary and olives as a literal “olive branch” to bring to your family gathering.